Love them or hate them, birthday parties are part and 'parcel' of child-life, and indeed adult life too.
Before talking about kids though, think about the adults in your life (yourself included) and how you react to birthday parties. There are generally three types:
1) Yes! The party lover! Enjoys their parties, the kids' parties, other people's parties, planning, organising, having people around or going out, the more the merrier etc. Usually a sociable type of person who likes to have events to look forward to and likes groups and enjoys excitement.
2) Maybe, erm, o.k. The party attendee! Will go when invited, doesn't mind parties, but if given a choice, prefers to have a quiet celebration without all the hassle. The classic line for this person - 'You'll enjoy it when you get there' (know anyone like this?) and 'don't go to any trouble on my account.'
3) No! Party pooper! Does not like fuss, too many people, too much to organise for just a birthday unless it's a significant birthday. May go
It's a combination of personality type, our life experience of parties, plus how we express our needs/wants/desires at celebrations.
So what about our kids?
We take pleasure in seeing our children grow to become excited about parties, many count the days, weeks, hours and minutes until their next brithday, liking to help organise what to have, where to go and what they want to do etc. Other children don't mind parties, and like us, some do not experience the same enjoyment.
If you are a party person, and you as a parent have kids who are party kids, then great. If you are a party parent, and your kid is not a party kid, then to some degree, there's not a lot you can do!
If your child has special needs, they too might love parties (some too much) and there are reasons why they don't enjoy parties.
Here's a term we all know and love: Being 'over stimulated' which is caused by high excitement, anticipation and sensory overload. For some children, this can be an unpleasant experience, feeling out of control and unsure how to process the events. Especially high when surrounded with decorations and everyone is creating a party atmosphere.
There are 7 senses we use to process information:
1) Sight 2) Sound 3) Touch 4) Smell 5) Taste 6) Body posture 7) Movement
Our brains constantly process all these senses to help us feel secure, and know how to act in different situations.
Children who have sensory dysfunction cannot process all this information smoothly, and therefore are unable to react in social situations in the same way we expect them to - even if they have been to lots of parties.
Many children do not experience fun or excitement in the same way we do, and being centre of attention can be an extremely unpleasant experience.
Some ways you can help:
Go here:http://www.hometrain.ie/games/party.php
And just for the record................ I love parties!
Claire.
Before talking about kids though, think about the adults in your life (yourself included) and how you react to birthday parties. There are generally three types:
2) Maybe, erm, o.k. The party attendee! Will go when invited, doesn't mind parties, but if given a choice, prefers to have a quiet celebration without all the hassle. The classic line for this person - 'You'll enjoy it when you get there' (know anyone like this?) and 'don't go to any trouble on my account.'
3) No! Party pooper! Does not like fuss, too many people, too much to organise for just a birthday unless it's a significant birthday. May go along to the party, but but probably whine and
moan until you get in the door. Classic line for this person -
'I'll just go for an hour'.It's a combination of personality type, our life experience of parties, plus how we express our needs/wants/desires at celebrations.
So what about our kids?
We take pleasure in seeing our children grow to become excited about parties, many count the days, weeks, hours and minutes until their next brithday, liking to help organise what to have, where to go and what they want to do etc. Other children don't mind parties, and like us, some do not experience the same enjoyment.
If you are a party person, and you as a parent have kids who are party kids, then great. If you are a party parent, and your kid is not a party kid, then to some degree, there's not a lot you can do!
If your child has special needs, they too might love parties (some too much) and there are reasons why they don't enjoy parties.
Here's a term we all know and love: Being 'over stimulated' which is caused by high excitement, anticipation and sensory overload. For some children, this can be an unpleasant experience, feeling out of control and unsure how to process the events. Especially high when surrounded with decorations and everyone is creating a party atmosphere.
There are 7 senses we use to process information:
1) Sight 2) Sound 3) Touch 4) Smell 5) Taste 6) Body posture 7) Movement
Our brains constantly process all these senses to help us feel secure, and know how to act in different situations.
Children who have sensory dysfunction cannot process all this information smoothly, and therefore are unable to react in social situations in the same way we expect them to - even if they have been to lots of parties.
Many children do not experience fun or excitement in the same way we do, and being centre of attention can be an extremely unpleasant experience.
Some ways you can help:
- Give your child choices about when and where and if they want a party
- Give them choices about activities, the cake and games
- Make a calendar to count down the days if they are very excited
- Make a book about birthdays, learn about presants, cards, cake etc.
- Give your child choices about what clothing they want (they may feel more comfortable in something familiar instead of new)
- Give them time to prepare for going to a party - if they haven't been to the house before, you could arrange a pre-party play date
- Don't push it if they don't want to go - give them time to feel comfortable going to parties
- Go to choose the party gift together
Go here:http://www.hometrain.ie/games/party.php
And just for the record................ I love parties!
Claire.
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